Farting without the rainbows.

<Kristin talking here...>

My dear sweet bff Lisa has coined the funniest phrase ... "farting rainbows."  When there is a situation that calls for one to fart a rainbow, I apparently do so well.  For example, someone or something bad happens, and you create a usually fake but cheery response.  Some people say that is lemonade out of lemons, we say it is "farting a rainbow!"

Sometimes, there are just farts.  Forgive me for my crass language, it is just part of my reality right now. Right now, there is no rainbow in the farts happening right now, and I am just generally upset.

I hope that this rambling will draw someone closer to the reality of adoption, because as you can see by all the other posts here I have gotten really good a farting rainbows.  I make things look clean, easy, and happy all the time ... and there are moments that I am just taken to tears.  Infertility took me to those tears often, it reminds me of this post from my infertility blogging days.  I titled that "Waves of Infertility."  Today I could write a novel about the "Waves of Adoption."

Today was a wave.  Not a monsoon, not a downpour, not a sprinkle, and not a shower.  A wave.  I am waiting to see how I ride it, if I get swallowed whole or if I crest ... it is an unknown right now.  But I do know I will be writing that book.  I have to.